24th
MOTHER AND DAUGHTER
When does a woman stop being mama’s little girl? When does mom stop telling you how you should dress, what you should do or be or better yet, when do mothers and daughters just become equals as women or just friends, and how about this, when do you stop walking on egg shells in order not to upset her possibly severing the relationship?
When we were little girls mom taught us all she knew, to the best of her ability, following the pattern she was raised with. As we became teenagers mom became an ogre and loved at the same time. As we approached adult hood she is now “mom” with some aptitude toward the issues of life, wisdom, and can become your best pal. But the question is how does she let go?
The relationship between mother and daughter is very fragile. It takes a special mom to learn how to let go. In my case my mom is 86 years old and I am 66..we had issues in that department for so many years, but when I hit 50 years of age I took the scary step of telling her that I am a grown up and did not appreciate being told what I was doing wrong each time I called her, that I loved her very much but this constant barrage of criticism had to stop. I asked her why could’ t we start our relationship as mother and daughter, as well as two women with separate opinions. After a few minutes of silence, she agreed and even apologized…So have things changed? for the most part, yes. Does she ever fall back into the old mode, at times. But this time I don’t hold back and express my emotions right away, once it ‘s out, who ever needs to apologize does and we go on.
I have 4 daughters, I try my best to let them be the women they were created to be…If an opinion is needed I will give it..otherwise I only make suggestions. I realized that they are adults and very intelligent, and the mistakes they might make are their own. If they need me I’ll be there otherwise the have to lay their own path. After all it is their life..(plus it takes the heat off me)
